Till Death
by BobzDillans
Summary: Kai has a drinking problem since Tala's death, Ray has a baby problem. All the while they each have a much darker secret than anyone can imagine. Kai&Ray, Kai&Tala, Ray&Mariah. Finished! Please review, it was my first in a very long time.
1. Surrender

It was as if he didn't understand, more so as if he didn't care. Ray stood speechless as he listened to Kai yell and scream, and flinched as the sound of glass shattered like a loud crack of lighting after the vase Kai had thrown hit the wall. He waited for an opening to get closer to him, to calm him and soothe his problems, but he had yet to find it. This wasn't the first time; actually it had been like this almost every night since Tala's death two months ago. Kai would come home from work and without saying a word he would simply go to the cupboard where they kept the alcohol and just go to town with it.

Ray hadn't meant to upset him when he mentioned going back home for Kevin and Mariah's wedding. Kai hadn't even had his usual fifth drink yet, and this was how he was going to act? After the screaming and yelling calmed down and all Kai had left to do was sit on the couch that sat against the wall beside him, Ray stepped forward and bent down on his knees in front of Kai, placing his hands gently on his lap.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Ray spoke softly; his big golden eyes starring up into his lovers crimson ones that were glazed over.

Kai retorted with his usual snort grunt, and looked away from Ray's pitiful gaze. After a moment of silence and Ray not looking away Kai sighed, figuring he had no choice but to respond best he could, even though his head had started to pound as the alcohol in his system raged on. "Fine then, go see your whore bitch and her wedding. I don't care, why should I care?" He asked and laid his forehead in his hand.

"I don't really appreciate the way you're talking about my friends, no! My family Kai- they were here for you, just as I was, and now I want to be there for them. Alright, so either you grow up and accept that I'm going…. Or, accept that I won't be coming back." Ray had stood up to give his speech as his voice trembled as he tried to find the right words to say. This wasn't his first threat of not coming back, and more than likely it wasn't going to be his last.

Kai smeared his hand down his face laughing, and rolling his eyes. Once he looked at Ray in the face he lost it completely, laughing harder grabbing his side for emphasis. Ray took a step back and bit his lip, unsure of what to say next, tears swelled up in his eyes as he clenched his fists. "Fine, I'm leaving then. I hope you have a good night, I'll be in the guest room." And with that he turned on his heel, his hair wrap snapping behind him as he marched out of the room, leaving Kai in a hysterical fit of laughter.

It was well around two in the morning when Kai in his drunken stupor fumbled into the guest room, he stunk of alcohol and that was just about enough for Ray to sit up in his bed peering through the darkness as Kai started towards the bed.

"No Kai, go to your room, I'm not ready to forgive you." Ray spat out, but Kai smiled and held his arms out to his sides, "But you love me." He started towards the bed again.

"I do love you, but not tonight. Not until you apologize to me." Ray shot back and turned over on his side, bringing the sheets around him closer. Kai being naturally stubborn tip toed his way over to the bed and sat down on the side of it, and gently ran his fingers through Ray's loose strands of hair.

"C'mon kitty kitty, we both know you can't stay angry at me for the whole night. Let me make it up to you." Kai leaned over and nipped Ray's ear. This made Ray elbow Kai in the side, pushing him off of him. "You can make it up to me by brushing your teeth and taking a shower. You stink something awful." Ray sat up in the bed and glowered at Kai, trying to make him realize this wasn't going to be like the other nights; he wasn't going to just allow him to make him feel this way anymore.

"Come with me then." Kai smiled and tilted his head, his slate colored hair falling gracefully around his perfect face, his glazed eyes almost shining brightly within the dark room. "I don't want to go to bed like this Ray, please?" He gently took one of Ray's hands and kissed the top of it gently. "I love you." He kissed it again and finally saw that Ray had given up, his eyes showed it all as Ray let out a heavy sigh.

Almost as if he was filled with new life and didn't have a single ounce of alcohol in him he bounced off the bed and waited for his lover to retreat from under the satin sheets. As soon as his feet touched the floor Kai had grabbed his wrist and pulled him to their bathroom down the hall. Ray's heart was heavy as he mentally cursed himself, all the while trying not to gag on the smell of Kai's breath as his lover kissed his neck and ran his hands along Ray's slender frame. Kai's hands were cold as always, and without much provocation his member was already hard pressed between Ray's thighs. Ray stood there motionless, allowing Kai to fumble with his pajamas and pull at his hair, kissing his skin fervently until Kai had successfully undressed them both and turned on the water in the shower.

Ray allowed himself to be pushed against the tile of the enormous shower they shared; he rolled his eyes and let out a sigh as Kai fingered his puckered entrance, barely flinching at the sudden impact of Kai's member within him. Kai grabbed a handful of Ray's raven locks and jerked his head back and sucked on Ray's neck as he thrust himself harder inside Ray's body. It took a mere minute before Kai had cum and slumped himself against Ray's back panting for breath, satisfied with his self he pulled out and went about washing his body as Ray did the same. Neither one of them spoke or made a eye contact for the remainder of their shower, and as they dried themselves and crawled into bed, they kept their backs to each other and slept hard.


	2. Proposal

It wasn't as if he didn't know this was the day he was leaving, and yet Kai was not there to wish him a safe trip, or anything. Ray stood by his plane's gate, he still had about 30 minutes before they were to board, but for some reason he had the feeling that Kai wasn't going to come see him off. Their driver stood with Ray, and idly chatted to some other passengers who had gathered round the gate. Ray tried not to think of the bad that could have happened to him, but like always his mind reeled with the possibilities that Kai could have gotten in an accident, or that while he was leaving the company building he was shot and killed. Ray shook his head and bit his bottom lip, how silly of him to think such things, but still.

Maybe Kai wasn't going to come see him off because he actually did what Ray asked him too; maybe he had gone to that therapist. Ray's heart filled with joy instead of sorrow as he thought of that possibility, but before he could enjoy the happiness of those thoughts the plane was ready for him and the others to board. Ray looked around best he could, but he didn't see Kai in the crowd, or anywhere. He let out a deep sigh and smiled to their driver taking his carry-on bag in his grip and boarded the plane with the others.

As he found his seat in the first class section of the plane he put his bad in the above storage space and sat by the window watching the men work on the last preparations before take-off. Ray sighed deeply again and began to take off the light green scarf he had bought himself a year ago from around his neck. As he did so his eye caught glimpse of a young girl with light brown hair looking down at him from her mother's arms. Ray smiled at the little girl, who in return smiled and waved goodbye as the line moved on.

Ray tucked the scarf behind his head and just as he got comfortable in his seat the stewardess made the announcement for everyone to turn off their electronic. Ray quickly reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his phone, on the front screen it read that he had two missed calls and one voicemail, so quickly he put in his password and began to listen to the voicemail. The stewardess bent over the seat as she asked him to put his phone away, and as she did so he could barely make out what Kai was saying on the other side in the voicemail.

"Sir if you don't put it away I will have to ask you to get off the plane." The woman yelled almost directly in his ear, and with that Ray sighed, he had no way of listening to the voicemail with her constant nagging in his ears. He shot her a death glare as he simply pressed the power button on his phone till the screen went black. The woman stood back and smiled, "see there, that wasn't so hard. I hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight now sir." And with that she made her way back towards the end of the plane.

Halfway through the flight at some point Ray had drifted off into a daydreaming state. He pictured himself coming home; dressed in a white suit he burst through the tall doors that led into Kai's mansion, there by their grand stair case stood Kai in reflection he was dressed in a dark black suit. In his fingers he held a simply pale pink rose as Ray ran towards him arms out and open to wrap around Kai's neck. Kai would sweep him off the ground bend him over and passionately kiss his lips as their butlers and maids stood around them in the room applauding, as if it were a scene taken directly from the movie Titanic. Ray smiled at the blissful thought, seeing Kai happy and not drunk for once would be amazing even if he didn't sweep Ray off his feet romantically.

Ray began to think back to their debate last night- Kai sat in his oversized armchair behind his desk that he sometimes used for when he had extra work to do at home, Ray sat across from him on the couch as he was reading the newspaper by the dim light of the table lamp to his side.

"Hey honey, listen to this- 'Dr. Hermander is an award winning psychologist who is now offering free treatments to severe cases.' Maybe you should go in and talk to him, you get help for free." Ray looked over to Kai who also looked up from what he was doing and pulled his thin rimmed glasses down a little and peered over them to give Ray his best 'I'm going to kill you one day' stare. "No. I don't need to be treated. Let me mourn the way I want to." He said with a harsh tone fixed his glasses and went back to writing on the papers he had laid out on his desk.

"Well maybe he could help you mourn? Maybe that way it'll be easier for both of us." Ray didn't let up as he put the paper beside him on the couch and swung his legs over the edge. "You don't have to right this second. But I would like it if you'd try while I'm gone." Kai looked back up at him and then took a drink of the whiskey he had to his left, and while not once breaking his eye contact with Ray he drank the whole glass of it in one go. He sat it down and smirked "No."

"You're not being overly fair to yourself or me for that matter." Ray stood from the couch, "Look, give him a call and set up an appointment, follow through with that appointment and actually talk to him since you won't talk to me. It's been months now since Tala's passing and I hate to tell you this, but move on sweetie. You've even said in the past he wasn't all that important to you, so please. Do this not just for me, but for yourself." And before Kai could get in a sentence let alone a letter, Ray picked up his paper sat it on Kai's desk over the top of his work and left the office. -

Ray sighed as he leaned his head against the cold window of the airplane; it would take about another hour before it landed, and as the time ticked on his heart began to pound harder within his chest. He didn't like having to do this, he didn't like lying to Kai, he loved him more than anything, but he couldn't keep letting himself be treated worse than the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. It would be late before he'd even reach the village where he'd meet up with Mariah and Lee, and so he closed his eyes and drifted off into a nap.

A soft tapping happened on his shoulder, it was so soft that it startled him and he held his arms up as if he were trying to karate his way out of sleep. "Sir we've landed, you need to exit the plane now." The stewardess smiled gently as she held his carry-on bag out for him to take. "Of course… My apologies." Ray quickly fumbled with his seat belt and grabbed his scarf off the seat and took his bag from the lady and exiting the plane sleepily.

He grabbed his other bag from the baggage claim and called for a taxi outside, glad to be in his native country and able to speak his native tongue. He gave the directions to the driver and sat back and enjoyed his three hour drive from the airport to his old village, as he laid his head back and just as he went to daydream he remembered he hadn't turned his cell back on and that Kai had left him a message that he hadn't listened to yet. Quickly he pulled his phone out of his pocket and waited for it to turn on, then punched in his password and listened to Kai's message. - "Ray I'm sorry I'm not there to see you off, I hope you have a safe trip and enjoy yourself. I wanted you to know that I thought about what you said last night, and I have an appointment with that shrink in two days. I hope that when you get back, we'll be able to put my behavior and issues behind us. I want this to work, and I can only hope you do too. Safe travels my love…. Call me when you can. And I'm sorry about that bruise on your leg…."- Ray had almost completely forgot about that, he gently touched the spot and it was still tender, he was sure the bruising had died down at least, Kai really didn't kick him that hard. After deleting the message from his inbox he placed his phone back inside his pocket and enjoyed the rest of his ride.

He was about an hour away from the village and so he took the opportunity to call Kai, he knew at this time he wouldn't be able to answer it, which was perfect. He dialed the number and waited as it rang, and with a smile of knowing it went to voicemail. "Hey babe got your message, I am so happy to hear you say that. I'm sorry too that you couldn't see me off. You know I won't have good signal out here, so when I can I'll call you. I lo"- "Hello?" Kai had picked up, this was the first time he'd ever pick up at this time, and he should have still been at work.

"Oh! Well hello back." Ray didn't know what to say, he had hoped to just leave a message, turn off his phone and enjoy his trip. "What're you doing?" He tried not to sound so suspicious of why he had picked up, but then again he was curious.

"I left work early but I guess I left my phone on vibrate, almost missed your call. How was your flight?" Kai sounded as if he was sober for once.

"Oh well that's nice that you could of done that. It was long; I slept for most of it…" Ray looked out his window trying to think of what to say.

"Did you listen to my message I left for you?"

"Oh yeah, and I just wanted you to know that I am so glad to hear that you're willing to go and work through this. I couldn't be happier for you, and us." Ray smiled as he spoke.

"Yeah I thought about it, and I've decided that I need to get better. For the both of us, and so while you're away… I will get better for you." Kai sounded happy for the first time in what Ray could only remember in a long time.

"Good." Ray couldn't think of anything else, he said all he had wanted to, what was Kai lingering this on for?

"And in return Ray," Kai's tone changed in a flash, and it was almost chilling. "This is the last time I will fund your going off and fucking Mariah escapades." And before Ray could even speak Kai had hung up. Ray's phone fell out of his hand as his mouth hung open, his heart stopped for a second and his whole body seemed to shake.

"Are you alright sir?" The driver asked he looked in his rearview mirror at the horrified looking Ray.

"Pull over!" Ray yelled and before the taxi even came to a stop Ray flung his door open and hurled on the side of the road.

It took him a few moments to regain his posture, and when he finally did he wiped his mouth clean and grabbed his water bottle out of his carry-on bag and chugged half of it. "Are you ready to go sir?" The driver called, Ray nodded as he climbed back into the taxi and kept wondering if he should just turn around and go back home, would he even be able to? What would Kai do if Ray just showed up on his doorstep in the morning; would he even let him in? Ray knew he'd be in trouble whether he stayed as he intended, or if he were to go back now, if he even wanted to. How long did Kai know, how did Kai know? The last time he saw the two together was during Tala's funeral. Did he look to comfortable with Mariah and gave it away, did he not seem more compassionate towards Kai?

During his thinking the cab arrived in the town, and like ritual the driver got out, opened the back hatch and pulled out Ray's luggage from the back, and waited. Ray hadn't even noticed and the driver tapped on the window to snap him out of his trance. Ray paid the man the fare and took his luggage in his hands and slowly made his way up the steps of Mariah's home. Before he even was able to knock on the door she flung it open and slammed her body against Ray's and welcomed him with kisses.

"Wait, Mariah stop!" Ray yelled causing her to jump back, "Can I get my shit in first?" He wasn't one for cussing, but right now he couldn't control it. "What's the matter Ray, did you not have a good flight?" She moved aside so he could pull his luggage and himself through the door. "The flight was fine…" He left his things by the door and sat down at the small dining table. It definitely wasn't the mansion he and Kai shared; her small home was just as big as their dining room. The kitchen, living room, and dining room were crammed into one space; while down a tiny hall were the two bedrooms and then the bathroom.

Ray ran his fingers through his bangs as he tried to figure out what to say to her, how to let her know they had been caught. He took in a deep breath and looked her dead in the eyes. "Kai knows."

"I'm pregnant." She smiled.


	3. Rewind

"So… you told him you knew? And yet he has yet to call you back or anything?" Dr. Hermander's calming voice brought Kai's attention back to him from starring out the window of his office.

"Nope, haven't heard from him at all." Kai smiled as he looked back out the window. He crossed one leg over the other and laid his arms out over the back of the couch.

"And why doesn't this concern you Kai?" Hermander leaned forward folding his hands as he leaned on his knees.

"I wanted him to know I knew, maybe just to see what he would do really. I mean, how fair is it to me that I work hard to make our living, just so he can use that money to fly to China and fuck a woman?" Kai put a hand to his chest where his heart was and tried to look sympathetic for himself.

"Now what about your past lover, Tala do you want to talk about him, I mean. Isn't that what you originally called me about?"

"No…" Kai gave his best death glare he could and put his hand under his chin as if he were deep in thought.

"Well, then what can I help you with?" Hermander asked.

"Nothing really, I just told Ray I'd come to this appointment." "Was that before or after you told him you knew he was having an affair." "Before I told him, but after I already knew." Kai smiled as if he were proud to know that.

"How did you find out? I mean the woman lives in another country." Hermander sat back in his chair.

"The way I find out about everything. I had him followed. After I saw their interaction at the…" Kai swallowed hard, he didn't want to look weak to this shrink, but it was still hard for him to talk about it. "The funeral?" Hermander broke in, and Kai nodded. "I was devastated; Ray and I had been seeing each other for about two months before…. _It_ and yet during the proceedings, he's standing by the bar chatting it away with the pink haired freak. Did he come and comfort me, and help me and the others Tala knew take those condolences? NO! He didn't, Tyson for God's sake stood by me the entire time. That's when I knew. Then three weeks later it's 'oh Mariah's birthday is coming up, do you mind if I go to China and see her?" As Kai spoke so did his hands as he used them in gestures as if to help show the shrink what he was talking about. "I said sure, go ahead. I didn't ask why I wasn't invited, I didn't care. When he got back that time, he was different. In all honesty I don't understand why he came back…" Kai paused for a moment and sat back in the couch and rubbed his forehead as if he was sweating up a storm.

"The next time, it was about two months after the first time. I can't even remember the excuse for this trip, but I said sure. I wasn't invited again. And I tried! I tried to keep him happy!" Kai almost shot off the couch from where he was sitting.

"Did he know about Tala when he got with you?"

"I'm NOT talking about Tala… Do your job and listen." Kai held his hand out at the shrink. "I told him he didn't have to work or get a job, he could do what he wanted, but I wouldn't force it on him. So you know what he chose to do? He chose to take an online class for cooking. You know where that class actually is?... China! So of course periodically he has to leave. That's when I sent someone to follow him. At first there was nothing, they met for lunch, but with the others, Ray stayed in a dorm at the school. A few weeks later her parents died, and so he went to the funeral. I had someone follow, and that's where I got the evidence I needed." Kai's face hardened as he remembered the exact moment when he had opened the envelope that proved his theory. "He thinks I drink because of Tala…" Kai shook his head as he mumbled that last bit to himself.

"Do you drink because of Tala and Ray?"

"No… I drink because I'm a grown man and do what I want." Kai chuckled a little.

"How many more times did you have him followed?"

"Seven… He went there seven times after that. It's been eight months since… You know, that he's been doing this. Sometimes he'll be gone for the entire month. The last few times, he's not even said anything, I get home and he's gone. He's run out of excuses, especially since I got the letter saying the school dropped him due to lack of completed assignments."

"You opened his mail?"

"No he did, he had to tell me so I didn't end up wasting money on that." Kai shook his head and looked to the clock on the wall; it seemed as if he had been there for his whole hour, even though he had only been there for not even half of it yet.

"The last excuse they could come up with was she was getting married, and you would think, I would get invited? She just saw him last month, it's almost been a year, in two months it'll be a whole year since we've been together, and they've been seeing each other for ten of those months." Kai's voice shook a little as the realization hit him, and he looked down at his feet.

"Do you want him to come home?" Hermander asked after he scribbled some things down on his tablet.

Kai shook his head "Yes…" He choked on the word, "I love him…" He looked up at the shrink his red crimson eyes swelling with tears.

"Maybe you should tell him?"

"No… he's a big boy, he can decide for himself what he wants… That's why I called him, I wanted him to choose. If he doesn't choose me, then that's fine." Kai kept his gaze at his feet, and he wiped the loose tears that had made their way down his cheeks.

"If he doesn't contact you or come home I'm more worried about you drinking yourself to death Mr. Hiwatari…" Hermander folded his hands in his lap.

Kai chuckled and shook his head, "I'm not stupid."- "I didn't say you were sir. But because you are now classified as one of my patients, you are my concern. And I would encourage you to find help in a group or even a few friends to get over your addiction of alcohol."

"I'm not an addict, and I haven't decided if I _want _to be one of your patients. I was just holding up my end of the bargain I made." –"To a man who may not hold up his?" Kai gritted his teeth and sighed after a moment. "Listen, if you truly want to be a better man for Ray when, _if_, he decides to come back to you, don't you want to be as clean as possible for him? No more Tala, no more alcohol, no more fights, and no more stalking?" Hermander looked to Kai with a questionable look with one eye brow raised.

"I suppose…" Kai sighed and sat himself back on the couch.

"Then do what I'm asking you to do. Find a group, there are pamphlets by the desk outside my office, take a few. Not just for the alcohol, but for the relationship and the fighting…"

"I haven't said anything about fighting." Kai's words weren't a question more so than they were a statement.

"I am to expect those nail marks on your arms are from your foreplay and intense sexual encounters with the man who is cheating on you?" Hermander pointed to Kai with his pen.

Kai knew what he was talking about but he still looked down and looked at the marks on his arms. Luckily he was smart enough to wear his favorite white scarf around his neck so the major bite mark Ray had left was hidden.

"Because you haven't said anything about it, I won't write it down. And because you are here and looking for help, I won't make it an issue. So, get yourself some pamphlets and get the other help I can't. See me back in another two days." Hermander wrote down some more things in his tablet as Kai stood up and mumbled a thank you as he left.

Outside the shrinks office he fingered through the pamphlets, grabbed two of each kind the shrink mentioned for him to get. When he was satisfied with the material he picked out he followed his driver, who had been sitting outside the office the entire time out the main door.

As the driver took Kai home he finally couldn't keep it in anymore, he glanced back and stopped the car off to the side of the road.

"What's wrong?" Kai looked up from one of the pamphlets he had in his hands.

"Pardon my intrusion sir, but I couldn't but help over hear the entire conversation. Why did you lie to the doctor for how long Mr. Kon has been gone?"

Kai's eyes widened, the old man had impressive hearing that was for sure, and before he could speak he swallowed hard and then looked down as his heart began to hurt a little, and as he spoke his voice trembled a little and a few tears streamed down his face. "Because… 8 months is too damn long…"


	4. Hope

His hands trembled due to the cold and due to the fact that after being gone and having absolute no contact at all with Kai, here he was standing at the front doors, ready to knock, ready to deal with whatever hell was coming his way. Ray's fist finally landed against the hardwood of the door as he tapped on it; waiting for a response he sighed and went over the words he would say in his head. After a minute the door creaked open and the once familiar butler poked his head out and looked Ray up and down, not with scrutiny, but with question. Without a word he allowed Ray inside and grabbed the bags off the front porch.

"Master Hiwatari is in his study." The butler said as he took the bags in his arms up the stairs, as if he already knew Ray was going to be welcomed back.

With his heart pounding in his chest and in his ears, he gripped the bundle in his arms tighter and walked through the arched opening of the office to his right. Standing behind his desk reading some papers stood Kai; he looked thinner and was dressed in a white vest and grey slacks. His hair was wet and matted down.

"Hello…" Ray choked out; his whole body was shaking now.

Kai froze stiff at the sound of Ray's voice, something he hadn't heard in ten months. Slowly he pulled his hand down, uncovering his face from behind his papers and his heart stopped as his eyes fell upon Ray. His hair was wrapped in a red band, his clothes were his traditional Chinese style, and his pants the silken black and his shirt blue instead of white, his bangs were pulled back as well so his entire face was exposed to Kai's gaze. Then he looked down at what Ray was holding, wrapped in a bright pink fuzzy blanket stuck out dark raven strands of hair, and tiny little hands.

Kai took a step back as if Ray was literally carrying the black plague inside his home, he didn't know what to say, didn't know what else to do. Ray's eyes saw the hurt, knew this was a bad idea, but he had to tell him, Kai had to know.

"J… Just sit down Kai…" Ray said softly, his voice still trembling as he too tried to be the man he was.

Kai looked up from the bundle in his hands to Ray's face, anger had yet to find its way through the other feelings he was having. Without really looking he reached for his arm chair, not quite grabbing it gracefully he pulled it over close enough for him to sit down.

"Um…" Ray looked around quickly and took a seat on the couch across from him, just as he sat Kai stood and went to the cupboard to the right of his desk where he kept the alcohol, but there wasn't anything in there. "Damn…" Kai muttered and as he walked back over to his chair he kept his gaze on the bundle, sitting back down he ran his fingers through his wet hair taking in a deep breath.

"It's good to see you've gotten rid of all that." Ray smiled and shifted in his seat.

"Too soon it seems…" Kai mumbled and leaned his elbows upon his desk.

"I… I wanted to apologize to you Kai…" The tears quickly came to Ray's eyes, and as if it were contagious Kai's eyes filled with tears, but he would be damned if he allowed Ray to see them. "I am SO sorry for this happening. I am so sorry I lied to you about Mariah… I… It wasn't easy to see you after what happened to Tala.-"Kai held a hand up to stop him from talking, the tears were pouring down Ray's face.

"You come… to MY house" Kai's voice rose higher than he wanted it to, but he had to control the tears, control these infuriating feelings. "Just to apologize for something you could have helped… I could have helped you with. Did I not give you enough?!" Kai stood up from his chair, pushing it back so hard it fell over creating a loud bang as it hit the floor, which in turn startled the baby within Ray's grasp and it began to wail. "You better shut that thing up…" Kai's body tensed, he was not one for children.

Quickly a maid, as if she were waiting to get her hands on that baby, came running inside the room and without really saying anything tore her from Ray's arms and took off with her into another room.

"Kai… Please let me speak…" Ray had to snap himself back at the task at hand after the maid left the room with his child.

"NO! You could have done that ten months ago… No… A year ago when you first started seeing your little whore!" Kai slammed his fist down on the desk causing Ray to flinch. "Let me tell you what I've done these past ten months, shall I? Let's see… I went to therapy, like you asked. After that I joined an alcoholic's anonymous group, on top of that, I joined a relationship counseling group. So that way, when you decided to come back, I would have been the better man. Not just for me, but for you. Maybe there was something I couldn't do for you, maybe I was missing something and that's why you left me. Then I realized, through all my therapy…. You have the problem, not me." Kai was strong and not a tear was shed as he spoke, even though he felt like breaking down with each passing word he said.

"Well I'm sorry I couldn't deal with your drunken ass!" Ray shot up, the tears cascading possibly never ending. "I tried hard to Kai… I tried to love you best I could, and I didn't start cheating on you until three months after Tala's death. I'm sorry I'm not perfect for you, but you have been no better. With your drinking, with the fighting…" Ray trailed off; there was really no good explanation for what he had done to Kai. "You hurt me emotionally, and physically Kai. I'm happy you're making yourself better, I really am. And you know I wouldn't have come back here if it wasn't for the love I have for you." Ray pointed to his chest.

"Then why did you bring that with you? That's not a product of OUR love Ray; it's a product of your love with that whore. I can't have children, and neither can you, unless we do what you have obviously done. Do you see me with a love child?" Kai held his arms out as if they weren't the only ones in the room. "Why have you really come back?" Kai glowered crossing his arms over his chest; the anger had finally found its way through his system to the top.

"Mariah… She died… I stayed because of the baby, not because I love her." Ray had to speak over Kai's hysterical laughter.

"I don't believe you." Kai laughed out as he shook his head, "I am to believe that because of your love for me, you stayed for the _entire _pregnancy, just to see whether or not she lived through it? And when she didn't come crawl your way back to me and I'd let you in with open arms?" Kai chuckled as his laughter subsided. "Do you take me for such a fool? You've been in love with my money. Maybe you're the whore…" Kai gave Ray a look as if he were a prostitute on the corner of a street.

"I am not in love with your money Kai, I love you… I didn't know she was going to die during childbirth! I stayed because that was the honorable thing to do. I never called you because I couldn't… I didn't want to talk to you about this over the phone, I needed to see you. I'll get a job to show you I love you, not your money. I'm not even asking for you to come back or allow me to come back. But I do… We do, need a place to stay." Ray pleaded as he wiped the tears off his face.

"You can get a job, you can do what you will Ray Kon, but not in my home. You need to leave now." Kai glanced at the clock on the top of the bookshelf to his left.

"Please Kai, at least until I get something stable. I can't afford daycare and a place to live, let alone food for the both of us. I can understand you wanting to punish me, but not my daughter, this isn't her fault." Ray pointed out the doorway as if she were right there.

"I'm not punishing you Ray; you're doing that all on your own. Now if you'll excuse me, you HAVE to leave." Kai stepped from around his desk to show Ray out when a group of men and women flooded into the room chatting up a storm, until they all glanced at Ray and then to Kai. Kai sighed and ran his hands through his hair, his group was earlier than expected, and he didn't get Ray out in time.

Ray stood up straighter and rubbed his eyes and wiped the tears off his face quickly as the group starred at him with puzzled, but not too puzzled of a look. "Is this the one Kai?" An elder woman spoke up from the back and made her way up till she stood beside Ray. "My my… isn't he adorable. I love your hair." She leaned over and whispered in a husky voice. Ray leaned away as he wasn't sure what else to do.

"This is, and he's leaving now." Kai glared over to Ray and pointed towards the door, motioning for him to leave. Ray saw, but he also saw this as the perfect opportunity to plead his case until Kai agreed.

"Oh what a pity, Kai has done WONDERFULLY in this group, maybe… Since it seems you could use some help too, that you should stay and join us this time." It wasn't a question, and even so Ray already knew his answer.

"I think that would be a great idea." Ray smiled back at the woman and took a seat on the couch.

"Perfect." She left no room for Kai to object, and she took a seat beside Ray, clutching her notepad and some pens. She glanced over at Ray's hair again, "Such lovely hair." She went to touch it but Ray's attention was taken when the maid who had taken his daughter appeared in the doorway with the screaming child in her arms.

"Is she alright?" Ray asked as he went over to take his daughter from the maid.

"Oh what a sweet baby!" The woman exclaimed, and the other women in the group all ooed and awed, Kai rolled his eyes as he picked up his armchair and rolled it around the front of his desk, pushing that against the wall to make more room, and taking his seat in his chair.

"She's fine sir, I just needed to know where her bottles are so I may feed her." The maid explained and pulled the baby away from Ray's reaching hands.

"Oh... I think Roman took the bags upstairs. I can feed her." Ray tried to grab for his daughter again, but the maid just smiled, thanked him and bounded up the stairs with the crying babe in her arms.

"Yoo hoo, can we start?" The woman called to Ray, who nodded and returned to his seat on the couch beside the woman. "So to open I would like to thank everyone for coming, and for bringing a dish like we agreed upon. Second I would like to thank Mr. Hiwatari for offering his lovely home so we could do this since the gym is being renovated. Thirdly I would like us to go around the room, give our name and why we have chosen to join Spouse Help." The woman said with a big smile, and then tied her wiry faded black hair into a loose pony tail.

"My name is Crysta, I joined Spouse Help two months ago because my husband and I have been fighting, and one day I… I cut him in the face with a knife. He said he wouldn't press charges if I got help. Since I've joined, things have gotten better at home, and we're talking. Instead of fighting through the problems." The frail red head girl of maybe 18 spoke and everyone clapped for her, Ray followed suit even though he wasn't sure why.

"I'm Charles, I've been a part of Spouse Help for two years, I was convicted of killing my second wife, and upon my release I wanted to find help. I am not in a relationship just yet, I'm still working on the kinks, but I'm sure when I'm ready I'll be able to be a better, non-violent man." The old man said as he smiled an almost toothless grin, as Crysta and another boy patted him on the shoulders.

It seemed to go like that throughout most of the circle, that everyone was forced into getting help, not because they wanted it. Kai's reasons weren't because he was forced, he explained exactly why he sought out the help he did.

"I loved him… Just as I always have, even in our blading days I loved him. And when he left, that wasn't going to be the end of my battle for his love. Little did I know his love for me wasn't as great as I had once thought. But I know I am a better man, thanks to this group and for the drive I had to be better for him." Kai spoke and his focus never left Ray's face, who seemed to shrink into the back end of the couch.

The last few people spoke about why they were there till it was Ray's turn, who tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. How hard was this going to be? Shouldn't be too hard, all he had to do was talk about how much he loved Kai, and that if necessary he too would like to join the group, so that way they could work together.

"My name is Ray; I have recently become a father to my mistress's child who died while bringing our child into this world. After I had the funds to come back I did, because I have missed Kai. We've had our problems, and I am willing to work through them because I too have loved him. Even if my actions have not shown it, I would die for him. If he'd give me the chance to prove it to him, I would love to work in this group with him, and piece the shattered mess back together." Ray spoke with nothing but the truth as he stared Kai in the eyes, and he knew Kai got the message, and the softness in his face told him that Kai would be willing to work on things with him.

"That would be wonderful Ray; of course you can use our group to help mend things. I do believe we came at just the right time for the both of you. Is there any advice someone would like to give to another now?" The woman scribbled some things in her notepad and looked around the room.

During the 'share' time Ray and Kai's eyes never left each other, as if they were secretly communicating through the meeting. When everything was said and done for the meeting, which lasted two hours, everyone retreated to the kitchen and dining room for the meals everyone had brought. The others idly chit chatted with each other around the massive dining table Kai had, the maid who had taken Ray's daughter had returned just as Ray had begun to eat, the maid looked frustrated and helpless as she walked around to where Ray sat.

"I'm sorry sir, but I can't get her to sleep." Her voice sounded as if she had run a marathon. Ray smiled and put his fork down, taking his child from the maid. "It's alright I got her now." Ray reassured the maid and cradled his daughter in his arms, and almost immediately she was calm.

Kai had been standing in the far corner of the room opposite where Ray was sitting talking to one of the younger men in the group when he focused his attention on Ray and his daughter. Kai sighed because deep down he knew that taking in Ray, also meant taking in the baby and he wasn't good with children, he wasn't even sure if he liked them.

The two kept their distance for the remainder of the night until everyone packed their things up and left. Kai thanked them all as he held the door open for the others as they piled out of his home just like they had piled in. Ray stood behind him watching, waiting with his now sleeping daughter in his arms. He was pretty sure Kai could hear his heart beating in his chest, it felt as if it were to break free.

Kai closed the door and sighed heavily, now he had to deal with the issue at hand, he put his hands in his pockets and looked Ray over, who had the most pitiful look imaginable upon his face. "The guest room is available. Good night." Kai's words were cold and kind at the same time, and without another word, without another look back he went up the stairs to his own room, leaving Ray in a speechless stupor.

Ray pulled the playpen open and placed his daughter inside, then retreated to the small guest bathroom that was attached to change himself into his pajamas and brush his teeth. As he looked at his reflection in the mirror his heart filled with a bit of joy, and satisfaction. Here tonight, in Kai's room tomorrow night, he knew that without a doubt. As he came out of the bathroom pulling his hair out of its wrap he was startled to see Kai bent over the playpen where his daughter slept starring down at her, not saying a word.

"What's her name?" Kai asked as he straightened himself up and put his hands into his pajama pockets, it took a while for Ray to answer because he couldn't look away from Kai's muscled chest and abs, something he knew he had missed dearly.

"Inyo (In-e-oh) Kon." Ray answered, pulling the rest of his hair out and letting it fall around him, then proceeded to take his shirt off.

"Hold your horses." Kai held his hand up, "One night is not going to change my mind, so get some sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

"I'm just getting ready for bed." Ray chuckled and pulled his shirt off. Causing Kai to stare at his equally impressive chest and abs. He remembered a long time ago when Ray was a chubby little guy compared to him, in fact even Tyson and the others were pretty chubby. Until something happened and they all thinned out, and then buffed up, especially Ray.

"Either way, good night." Kai smirked and left the room without another word, and before he made a terrible mistake, one that the head unattached to his shoulders was trying to force him to make.

Ray lay down on the familiar satin sheets and cuddled within them, taking in the wonderful smell and quickly falling asleep. He knew he was home, and nothing was going to change that.


	5. Survivor

The warm rays of the sun shone through the window, gently dancing across Kai's face causing him to bury it within his pillows as he groaned. It was too early to get up; too early to do really anything and then something wonderful wafted its way across his senses, bacon. Kai sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took in a breath to make sure what he smelled was truly what he thought, sure enough he smelt bacon. He glanced at the bedside clock it read 7:40am and he knew that was too early for any of the housekeepers to be up making breakfast. He sighed knowing exactly who it was, and at that thought he gave an inward smile and shook his head, Ray wasn't going to make this easy.

He didn't rush to get down stairs, he took his time dressing into some grey sweats and a dark blue tank top, he washed his face and brushed his two toned hair and tied it loosely back out of his face. He kept himself away, watching from the doorway to the kitchen and watched Ray as he continued to make the breakfast. It looked as though he didn't take any time to get himself ready for the morning; his hair looked barely brushed, his pants were his pajama bottoms and he had thrown on the shirt he wore yesterday, this wasn't like Ray, why hadn't he gotten himself decently dressed? Kai then noticed the play pen off to the side of the kitchen where Ray's daughter was making baby noises, that was when Kai knew the answer to his question.

"You could have just waited for one of the maids to make breakfast you know." Kai spoke up from where he was standing, startling Ray as he started to beat some eggs in a bowl, causing a little to spill out onto the counter. "I'll get that." Ray said as he looked down at the spill, and then up to Kai. As Kai looked at his face it seemed to him that Ray hadn't gotten much sleep at all last night as dark circles made their home under his eyes. "Why are you doing this?" Kai asked as he grabbed a paper towel and walked over to the counter to clean up the spilled egg goo.

"It's the weekend; you don't have any house help on the weekends. I've been gone for ten months and still remember that." Ray chuckled a hearty laugh until he realized what he had said and it became a slow nervous laugh.

Kai looked around the kitchen, Ray was right but when he cooked before he never left the kitchen in such a mess, he cooked and clean at the same time somehow. He walked over to the edge of the play pen and peered down at Ray's daughter who was rolling about on her back dressed in a white onesy with small pink flowers all over. He was slightly relieved that she looked like her father, the dark raven hair, even though she had very little; maybe just enough to clip a barrette in, and her big golden eyes. She smiled up at Kai and cooed and gurgled up some bubbles.

"Well why are you doing this so early?" Kai asked as he watched Ray finish the last bit of cooking before grabbing some plates out of the cupboard to dish the food onto.

"I have a job interview at nine. Which reminds me, could you watch Inyo for me while I'm out?" Ray asked in a pleading voice as he looked over his shoulder.

"You're not doing this because of job interview, you did it so I would say yes…" Kai gave him a sneer as Ray guiltily smiled as he plopped some pieces of bacon onto a plate and handed it to Kai.

"I told you I would get a job, so that's what I'm doing. What do you think I've been trying to do the past three days I've been here? But I can't take her with me. Please Kai." Ray went back to grab his own plate and they walked into the dining room, Ray having to drag the play pen in along with him.

"How bout, instead… You go see that Doctor you made me go see?" Kai asked as he picked at the barely cooked scrambled eggs, which he didn't even like to begin with.

"Why, do you want me to?" Ray asked, he hadn't even touched his food, it just felt nice to sit down for a second.

"I dunno, maybe you could get some things off your chest… Like Mariah's passing or something. I just don't want to see you turn out the way I did." Kai picked up a piece of bacon deciding he would eat that instead, but as he looked at it he realized it was too black to eat.

"Whatever you want Kai, but what about me getting a job? I don't want to go back on my word."

"And I can't believe you'd actually want to leave me alone with a child. No, go see this doctor today, I'll call over Shania and have her watch the baby. When you're finished with your session then we'll have dinner and talk some things over." Kai said as he stood to get ready for the tasks he laid out, "And we'll pick something up to eat on the way." Kai gave one last look at his undercooked eggs and overcooked bacon with a distasteful glare and left the dining room.

Ray sighed and looked at his food and realized the mistakes he had made while cooking, then remembered the kitchen and the state he left it in, "Do you want me to clean the kitchen first?" Ray called out, hoping Kai hadn't made it to the stairs yet.

"No, just get ready to leave in ten." Kai called back.

* * *

"That's the best you could do with your hair?" Kai asked as he casually made his way into Ray's room, as Ray fiddled and fumbled with his long locks trying to brush out all the tangles from the top to the bottom.

"I… I haven't combed it since I've gotten here…" Ray sounded ashamed, his hair used to be his pride and joy. "I think I'm just going to cut it." He went back and tugged at a knot at the end.

"Don't do that, I've always loved your long hair." Kai said with a gentle tone and took the brush from his hands and gently started to brush the places Ray couldn't reach. "Shania's here for the baby, I was hoping you would have been done sooner." Kai mumbled as he sort of became entranced with the brushing, something he missed doing for Ray, but he wouldn't let him know that just yet.

"It's harder than it looks Kai, I'm sorry. Are you sure you want me to do this?" Ray asked as he handed Kai a hair pretty.

"If you meant what you said the other day at that meeting, that you are willing to do what you can for us, then yes. Because Ray," Kai wrapped the raven locks in a pony tail and turned Ray around putting his hands on the other's shoulders. "I want you back, but I don't want you to turn out the way I did because I wasn't there for you in your mourning. And with that baby, I don't think you're ever going to get the real chance to mourn the way you need to." Kai gently touched Ray's cheek with his hand but quickly re treated it to his side. "We should go or we'll be late, and we still need to get something to eat."

* * *

The car ride was quiet; Kai drove because he was driverless for the weekend and Ray sat with his elbow propped on the window sill and looked out it smiling within himself. Kai wanted him back, he had said so, no more ups and downs, and nothing was going to stop him now from making things right with him. As Ray started to lose himself in those wonderful thoughts a deep unsettling feeling started to twist and turn in his stomach, maybe there was one thing that could stop them from being happy. Would it be safe to talk to the doctor about it, what would happen if he did? Ray's stomach twisted and turned inside, he took a drink from his cup he had gotten at the fast food joint they stopped at for breakfast. Since then Kai hadn't said a word, he just drove with a placid look on his face.

"So… What're you going to be doing while I'm at the doctors?" Ray tried to sound cheery, even though his stomach made him feel like throwing up now.

"I have some errands to run, you'll be in that office for an hour, and so I'll be back by then." Kai explained his placid expression not changing, Ray wondered what made him look so cold compared to how he looked before.

"What're you thinking about?" Ray asked after a moment of silence between the two and Kai had to come to a stop at a red light.

"I hate driving, you know that…" Kai sighed and then went back to driving as the light turned green.

Ray's stomach twisted harder, how could he have forgotten? He sighed and figured he'd shut up before he said anything more. Soon they arrived to the building where the doctor's office was located. The walk in, the elevator ride, and even their goodbyes were silent. Ray sat alone in the waiting room for an hour before Dr. Hermander came out and called him in the room.

"It's finally nice to meet you Mr. Kon, I've heard quite a lot about you. But we're not here to talk about that, we're here to talk about whatever you want."

"Well…" Ray swallowed hard as he could feel sweat dripping down his neck. "As you should probably know I have a child. N-not mine and Kai's, see we can't have children!" Ray rambled and stopped when the shrink held his hand up to stop him.

"There's no reason to be so jittery Ray. Please take in a deep breath and just, talk." Hermander folded his hands over his lap as he crossed his legs leaning back into his chair.

"I'm sorry… You must think I'm a terrible person." Ray looked down with shame. "I don't think anything; I don't get paid enough for my personal opinions, just my professional ones." Hermander smiled, which made Ray smile.

"Well… Kai thinks I should be here in order to mourn, because the mother of my child died."

"Do you think you need to be here, in order to do that?"

"I don't think so… I mean, Kai said he was concerned that I'd start drinking, but I haven't had a drink in years… It ruined my life..." Ray mumbled the last bit to himself, "That's why I begged Kai to get help, before something terrible happened to us or somebody else." Ray explained and fiddled with his fingers that sat in his lap.

"He's done a complete turnaround, I'm so proud of him. I just wish… I wish I could go back and fix everything, right from the beginning." Ray bit his lip and wiped his forehead. "I wish I had never cheated on him, I don't think I need to mourn the loss of my child's mother because I was never really into it. It was unbearable at home, and Mariah gave me an escape to run to, and he allowed it, not really knowing exactly what I was doing, but still. He never once said no, and I knew at one point, deep down that he would find out. I think I kinda hoped he'd find out, not with the child attached to this mess, but I wanted him to stop it. Actually fight for me, after Tala…" Ray's body began to shake and he wiped his forehead again, "Is it too hot in here?" Hermander asked, and Ray shook his head no.

"Since his friend Tala's death, he didn't seem to fight for anything anymore; he just floated around day to day like life wasn't worth living. And I can understand, but I was there… Why didn't he lean on me? I was there for him, all the time. We had dated for months; I thought he could trust me enough to come to me. This time, I want that, I want him to know he can come to me, for anything." Ray nodded as if he were agreeing with himself. "I don't need to mourn for Mariah, I don't need to feel sorry for myself, I need to fight too." Ray seemed to be getting pumped, as if he were giving an inspirational speech before the big game.

"You still have almost a whole hour left Mr. .Kon" Hermander said as he watched Ray jump from the couch and go towards the door.

"I don't need it." Ray smiled back at him and with that left the office, and out of the building. He was going to be the best man he could be from now on, nothing was going to stop him now, not even that tight twisting in his gut. He pushed that down; the past was in the past.

* * *

"Did he say anything?"

"No Sir… But he showed signs, as if he wanted to."

"Thanks."

* * *

The dinner date seemed to be going well, Kai seemed to be enjoying his really expensive dinner, and Ray tried to enjoy it as well, and even though he had found new purpose earlier that day, it was if a dark rain cloud hung in the air over their table.

"Would you like to try our complementary wine gentlemen?" The waiter asked holding a bottle of what looked to be a very fancy red wine.

Ray jumped a little in his seat and shook his head no fervently, he didn't want to seem rude, but that was the last thing he wanted, or needed. Kai put his hand out and thanked the waiter politely but refused it and went back to enjoying his dinner.

"How's Inyo doing, have you heard from Shania?" Ray asked as he sipped some soup from his spoon, burning the tip of his tongue.

"Shania hasn't called me; did you want to call her? You saw her not even 20 minutes ago when we left the house." Kai commented as he cut into his steak and ate a piece of the savory juicy meat.

"No no... I'm alright." Ray looked around the restaurant as if trying to distract himself from thinking about his daughter. "How did your errand running go?" Ray asked and dipped a bread stick in his soup.

"I got done what I needed to, if that's what you're asking. Why are you so nervous, do you need to call Shania?" Kai asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well… You said we were going to talk about some things, and since we've been here you haven't started talking." Ray answered scratching the back of his head.

"Oh… Is that all?" Kai chuckled and smirked, "Don't worry about it; I don't think we need to talk about anything. I want to hear how your session went with the shrink."

"Am I allowed to do that?" Ray asked leaning closer to the table.

"Yes… They just can't talk about you." Kai pointed a piece of steak that had been speared by his fork at Ray.

"Oh… Well… Since you don't want to talk about what you wanted to earlier. I'll tell you what I want to talk about. I've decided that I'm not going to let the past hold us down anymore. We have both made some major mistakes, and I'm not asking you to do this tonight, not even in a month." Ray's heart pounded in his chest as he stood up from the table and went the few inches over and knelt down beside Kai's chair, taking his hand in his. "But I do ask that you love me again, I love you Kai and I was a fool for not being there when you needed me. Here you are, right here for me right now, when I don't deserve it, you are the better man Kai. Please accept my apology, the best I can give with all my heart." Ray's eyes began to tear up, and as Kai sat there, almost dumbfounded at the scene Ray was making. Luckily like always he asked for a private room, so it wasn't that big of a scene. Kai's heart fluttered with joy and he couldn't help but smile a genuine smile at his lover.

Ray saw that as the go ahead and shot up from the floor wrapping his arms around Kai's neck and kissing him hard on the lips. Something he had missed for a long time, something they both had missed. Kai deepened the kiss by grabbing the back of Ray's neck and pulling him fully onto his lap, Ray cupped Kai's face in his hands and parted his lips, allowing Kai's hot sweet tongue entrance to his equally hot mouth. They parted breathing heavily, and just stared into each other's eyes longingly, their chests pushed so close they could feel the other's heart beat.

"I'll get the tab." Kai whispered huskily and planted one last kiss on Ray's lips before gently pushing him off and placing the money on the table, taking his lover by the hand and left the restaurant in a rush.

Kai drove best he could, he tried to concentrate on the darkened road but Ray's hands wouldn't stop touching him in those places, the places he had longed to be touched in. God this felt so wonderful again, to be wanted like this by the only person he loved. "Ray!" Kai gasped as Ray's slick wet tongue licked the tip of Kai's dick. "Don't make me get us into a wreck." Kai spat out almost angrily, as he tried to re concentrate at the road ahead. At that Ray's heart stopped and he quickly wiped his mouth and redid Kai's pants and sat up in his seat, fixing his hair and trying to calm his body as he put his seat belt back on.

"I didn't mean you had to stop." Kai looked over to Ray, who just smiled in return, "It's alright, I want it to hurt." Ray smiled and then with a sly crooked grin ran his hands through his hair as if he were a stripper giving out soft moans, running his hands up his shirt showing just enough of his well toned skin to Kai's persistent gaze. "Eyes on the road mister." Ray purred out as he gripped at his own erection that bulged from his pants and let out a soft moan. Luckily they were close to their home; Kai was having too much trouble keeping his focus on the road, and he was gonna make Ray wish he hadn't teased him like this.

Shania was nowhere to be seen, Kai had sent her a quick text before the two left the restaurant and he knew she'd be in the guest room sleeping with the baby. It wasn't time to think about babies and maids though; his task at hand was the golden eyed beauty that tormented him all the way home. Ray had darted inside the home as Kai opened the door; it was too cold to make out on the front porch and for some reason he allowed Ray to slip by him. Ray stood by the railing of the stairs the first four buttons were undone on his shirt, and the sleeve hung off his shoulder, his hair was already tousled and out of its pony tail, Kai had already seen to that in the car. Ray had this devilish grin on his face and a pointy tooth stuck out, something that he normally only allowed when he was turned on, he knew Kai enjoyed that.

Kai sat the keys on the table by the doors and proceeded towards Ray, but as he got closer Ray quickly smiled and ran away up the stairs, it took Kai a second to realize that if he wanted his prey he would need to chase it, and so he did. Ray was fast, but sadly Kai's mansion wasn't that big, and if they didn't want to wake the baby or the maid Kai's room was the ending of the chase, it was short lived but it left them both exhausted and more geared up than before. Ray knew how to work his magic on Kai, and Kai was not in a complaining mood at this point.

Ray threw himself on the bed, his hair falling all around him, his shirt had come completely undone from running and it lay open to show off his masculine glory. Kai closed the door and locked it behind him and began to pull his jacket off as he walked towards his awaiting prey. With his jacket gone and his own button down shirt left Ray leaned up on the edge of the bed where Kai stopped, and with breathless kisses Ray undid Kai's shirt as Kai grabbed a handful of Ray's hair. Ray traced his tongue along the chiseled abs of his lover, his hands exploring the once forgotten regions of Kai's body, taking in every bit he mentally could.

With their clothes completely gone and tossed to who knew where, Kai held Ray down on his hard member sweat pooling down their skin as Ray bobbed up and down on Kai's lap, his eyes closed but his mouth open as he let out moans and cried of pure bliss. Kai had to not only hold Ray on top of him, he also had to balance himself as he sat up, gripping the raven beauty's long hair, entangling his fingers in its never-ending locks, all the while with the other hand he pumped Ray's own hard cock. If anything were to ever feel right in this messed up world, it was this, to them this was the best feeling they could have asked for.

Ray wrapped his arms around Kai's neck and held his head to his own chest barring his head in Kai's slick wet locks. His heart pounding in his chest, as Kai planted sweet hasty kisses over the wet skin of his lover. He was close now and he stopped his thrusting, and gently pulled himself out of Ray, laying him down on his back as they both heaved in heavily for breath. Kai positioned himself between Ray's legs and pushed his entire member back inside Ray's tight ass; Ray screamed and twisted under Kai's grip digging his nails into Kai's arms. Kai returned back to his hard thrusting, and watched with fiendish eyes as Ray stroked himself with the same rhythm of Kai's thrusts, and soon enough they both came. In a white rush of cum and sweat and moans of pure happiness Kai collapsed down atop of Ray.

"I love you." Kai managed to breathe out as he gained back some strength and rolled himself off of the equally exhausted Ray.

As the two lay there in their mess and bliss Inyo could be heard crying from down the hall.


	6. Tala

"No Kai, you can't put the baby out in the hall way. I don't care if she's crying." Ray sighed as he went into the hallway and dragged his daughter and her play pen back into the bed room. Kai watched as he sat himself on the bed and crossed his arms over his chest.

Ray's daughter hadn't slept for long, which meant he didn't either. Ray had been asleep as if he were in a coma, it wasn't until Kai had put the screaming baby out in the hall and all was quieter did Ray snap out of his sleep and frantically search for his daughter.

"I need to sleep Ray, and she's not sleeping…" Kai growled out angrily as he watched Ray scoop Inyo out of her play pen and bounce her gently in his arms.

"I know Kai I know; here I'll go make her a bottle." He handed her over, laying her in Kai's lap since he refused to take her in his arms. Kai looked down at what he believed to not only be his cock blocker from earlier tonight, but also now she was his sleep blocker. Tears didn't even run down this child's face, what was she screaming for?

Ray had already left the room before Kai could even object to what Ray had suggested; he could have gotten the bottle Ray just needed to ask. Kai starred at the door as if it was that quick to make it down stairs and to the other side of his home and make the bottle, he let out a sigh and looked back down. Inyo's crying seemed to lessen up some and he gently scooped her up into his arms, she wiggled and continued to wail, so Kai stood up from the bed and began to walk around the room holding her close to his chest. Trying to keep her blanket wrapped around her, even though she kicked it off. That made Kai grin a little, she was persistent and did not want to be covered, so very carefully he pulled the blanket from around her tiny body and threw it on the bed.

After a few more minutes of walking around the room cradling Inyo in his arms, she fell asleep. Kai's ears were very great full just like the rest of his body would be as soon as he could put her back in her play pen and return to sleep himself. He glanced at the door, Ray should have came back by now, Kai didn't question it he just placed the now sleeping babe in her bed and threw the blanket she was once wrapped in over the side of the play pen. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited a few more minutes for Ray to return, nothing, so with another heavy sigh Kai pushed himself back from off his bed and trudged down the hall and the stairs to the kitchen.

There was barely any light coming from the kitchen as if Ray didn't even turn the lights on. Kai opened the door and flicked the light on just to see Ray standing slumped over on the door to the fridge as it was hanging open. Kai shook his head grinning at the sight and without startling or waking Ray up he scooped him in his arms, closing the door with his foot, and carried his tired lover back up the stairs and to their room. Luckily Inyo was still sound asleep, and without making much noise at all Kai got both him and Ray into the bed. As Kai covered himself back up and laid on his back he felt Ray shift and move closer to him, he laid his head on Kai's chest and sigh out gently, "Thank you Kai." He mumbled out sleepily. Kai wrapped his arm around Ray's back and held him close kissing his forehead gently.

* * *

It had been a better year for the two, now three of them in Kai's quaint mansion. Day to day things that had been so obscured returned to the way things had been before any of the drinking, any of the violence, and any of the cheating. Eventually Ray had changed the guest room into Inyo's nursery, he painted the walls light pink, he and Kai had gone and picked out furniture for her, so she no longer had to sleep in the play pen, or in their room; much to Kai's liking. It was as if everything was coming together, all the little pieces were picked up and placed back together.

Kai still insisted he'd continue with seeing the shrink, and going to his AA meetings, and the Spouse Help. Ray asked him if he truly needed it, but whenever it was brought up Kai seemed to shrug it off and avoid the conversation, one time he even told Ray he should go back to the shrink for a session. Ray questioned if that was really necessary, but Kai, like always, dropped the subject and went about whatever it was he may have been doing.

They sat in silence at dinner, Inyo was now able to sit up on her own and eat mashed up baby food, or more like play with it, and she sat in her high chair between them. Kai at his usual spot at the head of the table and Ray to his left, nothing really had been said all day between the two. But to them it was a solemn day, a day when they had to bury a good friend. This was actually the first time Ray had seen Kai all day, he had gotten up before Ray did and left the house without a word.

"Did you go see him?" Ray asked, he knew he would be treading in dark waters here.

"Yeah…" Kai took a bite of his salad and chewed it slowly, as if he was pondering over what to say next.

"I would have gone with you, why didn't you ask?" Ray touched Kai's hand that was laid on the table, to which Kai pulled away. Ray was hurt, why now of all times would Kai turn around and break everything they had worked on in the past months? "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have stepped on your toes about it." Ray tried to show his best smile without being too obvious of how hurt he felt.

After dinner Kai had retreated back to his office, which left Ray and Inyo to themselves. So like always he gave her a bath dressed her in a clean outfit and read her a story and finally put her to bed. It took him a good hour to complete his task of tending to his daughter, and hopefully tending to his lover would last longer, if he wanted. He went back down stairs to the office, but Kai wasn't there, surely he hadn't passed him upstairs, so he checked the kitchen and dining room- empty.

Ray sighed as he made his way to his room, with one quick look in on his daughter, who was still fast asleep. Ray and Kai's door was closed, which was odd but despite that he walked in anyways. The bathroom door was left cracked open and he could hear the shower running. Unsure if he should just wait on the bed, or go to sleep or what to do really he decided against the latter and went into the bathroom.

Silently he undressed and stepped into the huge walk in shower he and Kai shared, Kai's back was to him, and it was as if he hadn't heard him coming in at all. Ray gently touched Kai on the back and before Kai even had the chance to pull away or give some excuse to be alone Ray slid up behind him and wrapped his arms in a warming embrace as the water beat down on them both. That was when Ray noticed that Kai was shaking and heaving as if he were crying. Ray only held on tighter and gently kissed Kai's back and they stayed that way till the water turned cold.

Of course they made love, but it wasn't like Ray had hoped. Kai insisted on doing him from behind, and even though Ray expected him to be kind and slow, Kai was rough and hard, as if just a few moments ago he hadn't been sobbing like a child. Ray didn't make him stop, but it did remind him of all the times they had sex while Kai was in a drunken stupor, and even though he knew Kai wasn't drunk, he somehow felt responsible for how Kai was acting right now.

Kai bent over Ray's back and grabbed his jaw twisting his neck around and jamming his tongue inside of Ray's mouth, as if claiming it were his. Ray moaned and tried to sound like he was enjoying this kind of treatment, and luckily the kiss didn't last, Kai pulled away and forced Ray's head down so he had to look down at the sheets. A few more minutes and it would be over, unlike when Kai was in a drunken state, he lasted longer sober. But it wasn't without hair pulling and slapping, Ray could already picture himself not being able to sit down in the morning with how many times Kai had slapped his ass, and it wasn't playful- it hurt.

Finally release came for Kai, even though Ray had already come and gone a good three minutes before hand. Without much word Kai pulled himself out, grabbing the towel from earlier to clean his member off, as Ray pulled on some boxers he found lying on the ground by the bed. Kai silently dressed in full pajamas and then crawled into bed rolling so his back faced Ray, this was the third time Kai had hurt him like that. Ray didn't say anything though; he just rolled on his side and placed his back to Kai's.

"Good night…" Ray mumbled a little too harshly.

* * *

**Earlier That Day**

"Please calm down Mr. Hiwatari and start over for me." Dr. Hermander handed a box of tissues over to a ballistic Kai.

"Tala! He wasn't just a friend… I loved him!" Kai blurted out, more coherent this time than before and he doubled over on the couch, fisting his hands together and leaning his forehead on them as tears poured down his face. "I loved that son of a bitch… But I loved Ray too, and because of that I only have one of them left."

"You were seeing Tala and Ray? Why would you blame yourself for Tala's death?" Hermander sighed deeply, waiting to hear what was to come next.

"Tala and I had been dating since I got back to Russia, two years after that there was a reunion. Ray was there… Things… Things happened that night. Since then Ray and I were seeing each other on the side. Neither one of them knew about the other, nor did I know Ray had a drinking problem." Kai's hysterics were calmer now and he wiped his face with his sleeve.

"It was like that for a while, maybe five months? Then Tala found out somehow… He was naturally angry and he left. In the middle of the night he left the mansion, he didn't take a car either he just walked right out." Kai used his famous hand gestures and looked the shrink dead in the eyes until he couldn't any longer.

"Did you go looking for him?" Dr. Hermander asked as he scribbled some things down on his tablet like he always did.

Kai nodded, "I drove though to find him, and I got out to confront him- apologize even… But he wouldn't have it; he pulled away from me, and without even looking to cross the road…." Kai stuttered and stammered, trying to control his fits, "The person driving didn't even stop!" Kai screamed and lost it all. "He didn't stop." Kai could picture almost perfectly what he was talking about. - Tala's bloodied body strewn out in Kai's arms as he yelled for him to open his eyes, Tala, unknown to Kai, had died on impact. Kai sat there in the street yelling at the top of his lungs for somebody to help them, forgetting he had his own cell phone in his pocket. Eventually an ambulance was called, but they didn't allow Kai to go with him, so he quickly got into his car and followed them to the hospital. Outside the waiting room he called Boris, and within minutes Boris was there to support Kai. The doctors came out and sadly shook their heads and apologized for his loss. Both Kai and Boris fell to the ground sobbing like women. - "It should have been me!" Kai shook his head angrily clenching his shirt as if he were in pain.

"You know that's not true." Hermander tried to sound convincing and sympathetic at the same time.

"It is, I made this mess for myself. Because I can't have both, one had to be taken away from me? One had to die just so I could realize this?" Kai wasn't just sad anymore, he was angry, infuriated. "It's as if I was the one driving, it's as if I was the one who killed him."

"But it wasn't Kai, and be glad it wasn't you. Don't take blame for things that are… Simply out of our control at times. Did they ever find out who did hit and kill Tala?" Hermander asked.

"No… They didn't look into it very much, and so many years have passed, that it wouldn't matter." Kai shook his head, once again he had calmed himself down.

"What about Ray, are you going to tell him the truth, about you and Tala?"

"I don't know how." Kai shook his head. "Part of me wants to, since I knew about him and Mariah. The other part… Blames him too."

* * *

Kai rolled over on his back and took in a really deep breath, "I have to tell you something." His voice was ready to crack, but he kept it under control. Ray shifted and turned around as Kai sat up in their bed starring down at the sheets. Ray leaned up on his arm and waited.

"When I was seeing you, I was also seeing Tala." Kai spoke slowly, not once looking away from the sheets below him. Ray's heart seemed to tear open from inside his chest and he sat up fully, tears welling up in his eyes as his face began to get hot. "What?" He managed to squeak out as his own voice cracked.

Kai went to repeat himself until Ray cut him off, "How long?" Ray clenched the bed sheets and trembled. Kai looked away to the side, not able to look in Ray's direction and he started to say something else when Ray cut him off again, "How- long- Kai- Hiwatari!" Ray yelled loud enough to get his point across, but hopefully not loud enough to wake Inyo down the hall.

"The entire time… Up till… You know…" Kai shrugged as small tears trickled down his cheeks as well. "I was dating Tala first; I didn't start seeing you until after that reunion." Kai quickly tried to correct what he was saying, even though he knew it wasn't right.

Ray sat there speechless for what seemed like forever, Kai's heart breaking with each passing moment of silence, until finally Ray bit down on his lip and cocked his head with his eyebrows furrowed and the most evil of looks he could possibly come up with. "You know what, fine… That's fine Kai… We're even now… But if you treat me like you did tonight, because of him or whatever the fuck is wrong with you, I'm gone." Ray used his best angry tone he could and with that, before Kai could even say that nothing would happen like that to them, nothing would break them apart, Ray had already rolled onto his side and pulled the covers up to his neck.

Kai sat in more silence and looked down at the man he claimed to love, tried to love. He knew he did… Somewhere deep down he loved Ray, loved him enough to work this through, he owed it to him after what he put him through after all. It wasn't going to be a very pretty relationship, it never really was, but it was theirs.

* * *

"I'm glad to see you again Mr. Kon, it's been quite a while." Doctor Hermander greeted as he took his seat in his normal chair, as Ray took his seat on the couch from across him.

"It's good to see you too Doctor." Ray smiled and crossed his legs, "I'm sorry I haven't been back to see you, a lot's happened since that first time. I wanted to thank you. If it hadn't been for you, I don't think Kai and I would have ever made it this far."

"How is Mr. Hiwatari? He hasn't been back to see me in four months."

"He's getting used to fatherhood, telling the truth… Last time he came to you, he told you some things, and I'm glad he did. It's made me feel better about my situation. He hasn't returned mainly because we're preparing to move to the country, we think it'd be better to raise our daughter there." Ray explained.

"I'm glad to hear Kai has finally warmed up to the little one. And that's nice, sometimes living in the city… It gets to hectic."

"I agree." Ray nodded.

"So… What was it you wanted to talk about?" Hermander asked as he cocked his head to the side.

Ray looked away from the window he was starring out, and then met Hermander's eyes and smirked.

"I killed Tala."


End file.
